So I've Got Halloween Covered From Now On...

During our last podcast, Kevin and I discussed Star Trek costumes quite a bit. My wife Kelly looked several masks up on Amazon.com.

First was the Gorn mask, which is worn on the Mythbusters episode that tackles Arena. But then the masks got weirder and weirder.

The Mugato, from "A Private Little War", seems a natural. It's a lesser-known beast, so you can use it anywhere. But it's also a full-head mask, so you don't look too cheesy.

But when you get to more "human-like" masks, things take a turn towards either the creepy or the silly, I can't decide which.

This Cardassian mask has a serious case of the melty-face. I guess you get what you pay for at $19.99.

Although some Trek fans may have dreamed of beheading Neelix (he grew on me eventually), this mask makes the concept a bit too frighteningly real.

Locutus actually looks pretty decent, but I have to wonder: does it come with a laser pointer, and what does it look like when you try to talk through Patrick Stewart's permanently frozen lips? It seems to me like there's no point to a Trek costume if you have difficulty uttering the basic catch-phrases.

Speaking of grotesque beheadings, Quark is an abomination. The Odo mask makes its wearer appear to be some sort of skin-collecting serial killer, which might actually work on Halloween. The less said about this Klingon, the better.

In the end, I settled on buying a TOS command gold uniform shirt. I figure, even if it looks bad, I can still wear it around the house. I hope the quality is up to snuff, and that it fits my slender build tightly enough, but not too small.

So now I'm set for our next convention, and every Halloween from now until I gain weight. I just need to buy some black pants and boots, and a realistic looking TOS phaser, and I'm good to go.

I'm not a nerd, am I? Have I crossed some line here? My wife says I'm cool...